Loser Gets Mom

30 Mar

The following is an actual conversation that recently took place in my car.  Names have NOT been changed to protect the guilty:

Me to Son:

So if you want, you can take soccer on Saturday mornings while your sister is at dance class.  I can take one of you and Dad can take the other.

Son:

I want Dad to take me!

Daughter:

I want Dad to take me!

Me:

OK, fine.  We’ll just have to switch off.  I’ll take one of you one week, and then I’ll take the other one the next week.  Deal?

Kids:

Silence.

Dad:

Smirks.

End scene.

That’s when it hit me: In our family, it’s a crap shoot which parent drives you to your activity, and LOSER GETS MOM.  Forget about the devotion of my body and my life to producing and raising these kids.  They want Dad.  He’s fun!  He’s wacky!  He wrestles with them!  He gives them candy and Cheetos and lets them play video games!  What’s not to love?

Another great example of this is my wonderfully grouchy daughter, who wakes in the morning with the approximate demeanor of a hibernating bear that’s been jabbed with an electric cattle prod.  She opens her eyes, sees me, and starts loudly broadcasting her disapproval that I am not Dad.  I have to leave her alone for a solid 5 minutes, or we are going to have a huge fight.

So…woe is me, unappreciated and unloved mom.

And I already know what you’re going to say – it’s because I’m the one at home all the time, they don’t get to see their Dad as much, I’m the disciplinarian, blah blah blah.  Yeah, I know, I get it, whatever.  Who cares – love me, dammit!

Because the truth is, it hurts.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that my kids love their father so much.  That is a wonderful and beautiful thing.  But I’m anxious for the day when they’re mature enough to realize that they can love both of us equally, though maybe for different reasons.

In the meantime, I have to somehow teach my children to pretend that they like me, while not compromising our “no telling lies” policy.  I’m no fool – it will probably involve candy, Cheetos, and video games.  So basically, I’ll just pretend to be Dad.

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2 Responses to “Loser Gets Mom”

  1. Mom Meets Blog March 30, 2012 at 6:36 pm #

    You can say it. . . “Someone has to like me best, dammit!” But seriously, I think this is the mother’s lot in life, for all the reasons you laid out. But I know (at least I have to believe) that somewhere, really, really, deep inside, these kids ADORE us and would be lost, miserable and bereft wtihout us. I’m sticking with that. . .

  2. Cathy Wilkerson March 31, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    I LOVE THIS ARTICLE. Every good parent feels this way at one time or another. Eventually they realize the sacrifice of their Mom, and that appreciation lasts a lifetime. I’ve never felt so loved as I do now by my grown daughter…she gets it!!

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