52 FEATS – NUMBER 8 (LOVING)

27 Feb

For the original 52 FEATS blog entry, click here.

DAY 7 (Sunday):

Well, my week of giving extra love to my husband has drawn to a close.  I don’t know if he noticed a difference, but I did.  I found that trying to be especially loving made me more patient and understanding.  I frequently stopped when I was about to say something snarky, and put myself in his shoes.  I was always trying to see his side of things, and give to him as much as he gives to me.

Patience is something I struggle with, and it struck me as interesting how closely it was tied to love in this week’s Feat.  I hadn’t realized that one is really an expression of the other.

I drove by a church yesterday, and the sign out front had a message about “fervently” loving one another.  Awesome!  What’s the point in loving half-heartedly?  You might as well give it your all – it certainly won’t hurt anything, and will likely make life more beautiful in the process.

DAY 4 (Thursday):

One of the most important things I’m learning this week (being extra lovey-dovey to my husband) is how to keep a sweet disposition when someone is being grouchy with me.

It will probably shock my girlfriends who think my husband is perfect, but sometimes he can be a little bit unpleasant!  Especially this week, which was particularly bad for him at work.  He had a rough time, and a few times he took it out on me.  Short answers, really snarky and sarcastic sometimes.  It got on my nerves and I wanted to shoot it right back to him.

But I didn’t.  Out of love, I tried to put myself in his shoes and realize that his grouchiness was not really directed at me; rather, it’s just the consequence of him being super stressed and not knowing what to do about it.  So instead of picking a fight with him, I just let it go.  I saw things from his perspective and chose not to let things escalate.

Once things were calmed down later, I reminded him how much I love him, and that I knew he was stressed out but we needed to work hard to remain pleasant to each other, for the sake of our household happiness.  Being told in that way, he was very understanding and receptive.  It made a huge difference not to get emotionally charged in the moment.  Trying to be more loving helped me also be more patient.  Win-win.

DAY 2 (Tuesday):

Second day of trying to show my husband how much I love him!  Mostly, I’ve been calling him more just to say hi, and making sure I have dinner ready when he gets home.  I got up early to ask if he wanted me to brew him some coffee, I ironed his clothes before a big day at work, and I’ve rubbed his shoulders a few times.

What it’s really been about so far is putting my own needs aside.  After the kids went to sleep last night, all I wanted to do was lay down and watch TV.  But I knew my husband had had a terrible day, so I listened to him and let him vent as long as he wanted.

I’ve also tried to hug him more.  Seems like a silly thing, maybe, but I know we get so busy with the kids and work and the house – sometimes we forget to connect with each other in the simplest of ways.

ABOUT FEAT NUMBER 8:

Since February is National Heart Month, and also home to Valentine’s Day, it seems only fitting to continue the theme with something else heart-related:  Love!

I am married to the most amazing man.  Not only does he work his butt off at his job, he works tirelessly at home to make life fun for our kids and easy for me.  He does this for us purely out of love.

It’s not unusual for him to take the kids somewhere all day Saturday or Sunday so I can sleep in, work, shop, whatever.  He cooks, he cleans, he lays out my pajamas for me every night.  Any time I want to go out with friends – no problem with him.  He does so many things every day to show me that he cares.

My friends all think I’m so lucky to have him, and they’re right.  But sometimes I worry that I take him for granted, because I’ve grown so accustomed to all the things he does for me.  It can be so easy to overlook those closest to us in our lives, the ones who are always around, when in fact, those are the relationships we should work on the hardest.

So what is this Feat about?  I’m going to spend this week trying to give back to my husband.  I want to spend more time thinking about what I can do for him to make his life easier.  I know my days are hard, but his aren’t any easier, and if I can take some of the burden off of him, or light up his day in some way, I’m going to do it.

This week, I encourage all of you to tell those closest to you how you feel about them, or do your best to show them how important they are to you.  There’s no time like the present!

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2 Responses to “52 FEATS – NUMBER 8 (LOVING)”

  1. Inger Wilkerson February 25, 2011 at 2:01 am #

    This is such a good idea–both the 52 feats and the husband appreciation. Simple things really can make a difference–why don’t we do them more!

    • Jen February 25, 2011 at 5:32 am #

      Thanks, Inger! That is definitely a recurring thought for me as I do these Feats!

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