9 Feb

Being a mother means so many things.  Every day, I am pulled in a million different directions.  With each new day comes a new lesson.  I learn from my children, from my friends, from other mothers, from my husband, from my family, and even from strangers.

One lesson that keeps coming up for me personally is forgiveness.  I like to think I am a very forgiving person, but when it comes down to it, and I really start to reflect on my life, it becomes clear I have a lot of work to do.

Through meditation and yoga, I have learned to be more present in my daily life.  When I take that awareness and apply it to every day situations, it becomes easier to learn life’s lessons.  More and more I am trying to act upon my thoughts.  When I see someone struggling, instead of thinking to myself, “Oh, someone should help her.” Or “If I didn’t have my kids with me, I would help him.”

A breaking point for me happened a few weeks ago while I was shopping at a local grocery store.  My husband was home with two of the kids.  I was wearing the baby on my back.  A store employee had accidentally knocked over the recycled bags bin and was struggling to empty all of the bags from the bin, into another larger bag.  Here I stood, completely able-bodied, just thinking to myself, “Someone really should help him.  I can’t believe none of his co-workers are helping him!  He clearly needs help.”

Then what did I do? I kept walking, right on out of the store.  The entire way to my car, I beat myself up, in my mind.  I thought, “Oh my, I should have helped him.  Why didn’t I help him?  I don’t even have all three kids today.  I am wearing the baby, and could have easily bent down and helped him.”  I debated over and over whether or not to return to the store.  I knew I should, but ultimately, I just got to my car, loaded the groceries, and drove home.

For this inaction, I must forgive myself.  How can I learn to forgive anyone else, if I am unable to forgive myself?  In fact, how can I expect anyone else to forgive me, if I cannot forgive myself?  Once I forgive myself, it is easier to forgive the guy who cuts me off in traffic, or my friend for being insincere, or my husband for saying something to me or the kids in a negative manner, or even my kids for misbehaving.

In forgiving myself, I extend a little bit of light to the world.  It creates space for me to forgive others.  When I forgive others, they can more easily forgive themselves and in turn other people.  One person at a time can create a ripple of change within the Universe that can snowball into something big. All it takes is that awareness!


2 Responses to “Forgiveness”

  1. Rita February 9, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

    It is so very important and one of my weaknesses too. I keep remembering that there is only one conditional clause in the Our Father, and it has to do with forgiveness. It must be something that is essential to master.

  2. Lori February 10, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

    I certainly believe it is, Rita! It certainly keeps coming up for me!

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