The One Thing We Always Wanted – Part One

12 Nov

In honor of National Adoption Awareness Month, our guest blogger Richelle shares the moving story of her experience with the adoption process, and how she finally became a mom.  Here is Part One of her three-part story.

I always knew I wanted to be a mother, but even from a very young age, I had a sneaking suspicion it wouldn’t happen for me easily.  It defies explanation–some may call it pessimism, I call it a premonition.  Nonetheless, it turned out to be true.

After years of doctor’s visits, diagnostic tests and injections, my husband and I were still childless (which is such a sad, pitiful word when applied to a couple who wants to be the opposite).  I’ll skip over the sad parts here, because this story truly does have a happy ending.

Our next step was going to be IVF, but by that point, I had had enough of the disappointment and, truthfully, my desire to become pregnant was waning.  Anyone who knows me will tell you I am not a gambler.  Looking at the situation from a pragmatic view, I weighed the options.  It takes an average of three rounds of IVF to conceive.  At roughly $10,000 a pop, that’s thirty grand we could spend and still possibly not get pregnant.  Or, we could spend around $25,000 on an adoption and definitely have a baby to show for it.  This, to me, was a no-brainer.  I just wanted a baby.  I did a lot of research and once the idea of adoption took hold, I was sure it was how our family would become complete.

When I initially broached the subject with my husband, he wasn’t crazy about the idea.  After a lot of hedging, he finally admitted he was worried he wouldn’t love an adopted child as much as his own biological one.  I stifled a laugh.  “Well, do you think you could love a baby as much as you love Cortez?” I said, motioning over to our fur ball mutt, who was lounging on the couch, all four paws splayed in the air.  This dog, truly, is the most loved dog in the world.  Well, he conceded, I did have a point.  He agreed to look at some of the research I had already pored over and decided he was ready to learn more.

We made an appointment with a case worker at Hope Cottage in Dallas.  We had so many questions and were anxious, to say the least.  I was sure no one in their right mind would ever give us a baby.  Sure, we were a loving couple ready to tackle parenthood, but we weren’t bazillionaires, as I imagined all prospective adoptive parents to be.

Also, we were pretty young–in our late twenties.  I had a preconception that most people looked to adoption as a last resort, so by the time they start the process they are in their late 30’s or 40’s and naturally have their lives all figured out.  Angelina Jolie, Daddy Warbucks– these are the people that get to adopt.  After assurances that most birthparents just want a happy, loving home for their baby, we decided to officially begin the adoption process.  This entailed a ton of paperwork, background checks, home visits and soul-baring interviews.  I mean, we really, really wanted a baby.  All our family and friends were over the moon for us and were incredibly supportive.  We knew the baby that was meant for us would come into our lives at just the right time.

Stay tuned for Part Two!


2 Responses to “The One Thing We Always Wanted – Part One”

  1. Lisa Martin November 12, 2010 at 6:02 pm #

    Thank you, Richelle, for this moving story. As an adoptee (who has a wonderful relationship with both parents) it’s especially touching for me to hear the mother’s side of the experience. I can’t wait for your additional posts!


  1. The One Thing We Always Wanted – Part Two « More than Mothers - November 18, 2010

    […] adoption process, and how she finally became a mom.  Here is Part Two of her three-part story.  Click here for Part […]

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