Bye-Bye, Baby

8 Nov

My little girl, the younger of my two children, turns 3 today.  It’s so cliche, but seriously – where has the time gone??

My memories are fading – have already faded – so fast it’s alarming.  I can clearly remember the day she was born, but I’m fuzzy on the every-day things about her infancy, like watching her learn to sit up, listening to her babble, or just holding her while she slept.  I remember those things only vaguely, like ideas in a dream, though I know they were real experiences.  It’s just become so hard to conjure up a tangible memory of sound, smell, or touch…

Today, my daughter is a wild and crazy 3-year-old, scared of nothing and no one.  Completely sure of herself, she barrels headfirst into everything.  She’s challenging, yes, but the parts of her personality that make her challenging are the same ones that make her so much fun.  She is a total riot.

I’m trying to be more diligent about journaling now, to preserve these memories in writing as an aid to my failing memory.  I can tell you it’s already working – I recently read a journal entry from only a month ago, and I had already completely forgotten the incident.  In my defense, it was something small, just a funny thing my daughter had said.  But I’m discovering that it’s those small things that make you feel so connected to your life and the people you love.

This birthday is especially bittersweet for me, because my husband and I just decided that we’re definitely not having any more children.  While I know it’s the right decision for us, I do feel some pangs of regret.  The finality of knowing that all my baby days are behind me feels sudden and surreal.  I’ll never have another pregnancy, experience another miracle of childbirth, or nurse another baby.

But the thing is, even though my kids aren’t tiny little infants hitting milestones on almost a daily basis the way babies often do, they’re both fantastic people who are learning and experiencing new things all the time.  As a parent, that’s amazing to behold.  There’s still so much new territory for them to cover in life, and I can’t wait to experience it with them.

My 4-year-old son says he never wants to move away from home.  I told him that’s fine with me.  After all, he and his sister will always be my babies, no matter what their age.

Happy birthday to my turtledove!

Advertisements

4 Responses to “Bye-Bye, Baby”

  1. Rhonda Fuselier November 8, 2010 at 9:20 pm #

    Jen,

    One of the best gifts I’ve given myself is to chronicle some of the milestones and silly things my boys have said. Like you said, how quickly you forget.

    Never let them stop being children as long as they want to be. Hold their hands. Buy her a doll when she’s 12. Because one day, you’ll look at every little girl in the store and wonder where yours went when she’s off at college!

    RMF

  2. Stephanie November 8, 2010 at 9:42 pm #

    Jen, I think it’s great that you’re journaling things. That’s what I try to do on the blog; I also try to just write things that Hagen says so I won’t forget years (or months??) later.
    I didn’t know you guys had definitely decided on no more kids. I know it’s bittersweet. I hope you’re doing okay. And how cute that he said he doesn’t want to move away from home…you should remind him of that when he’s 18! 🙂

  3. Jen November 8, 2010 at 9:59 pm #

    Yeah, when he says that, I just smile and tell him he never has to leave – because I know he won’t feel that way forever!

  4. Lori November 9, 2010 at 3:28 am #

    I actually got teary eyed reading this! I keep a log in my journal about some of the things my kids say/do, however I haven’t kept up with it. Reading this, I am reminded of how important it is! Thanks for sharing!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: